Tuesday, March 16, 2010

It's ALIVE!!!!

He's sleeping right now, otherwise I would take a picture to prove that he's ALIVE! Ok, I know that's a little dramatic, but after 3 days I'm finally feeling able to maybe put into words...
Saturday night I had what was easily the scariest experience of my life to this point. It topped even being in a accident when I was 8 months preggers with Camden.
I had taken the little boys to store, they'd had their Allred/Hubert (Anderson) family party that afternoon and were rolling in the dough! It was burning holes in their little pockets, so we jumped in the car and off to Wal-Mart we rolled. On the way home (we'd been gone about an hour) I got a phone call from Shawn. He wanted to know where he was, what day it was, what he was supposed to be doing, and if he had to go to work. He sounded pretty shaken and scared, and that put the fear right into me...in all our almost 10 years, I've never heard him scared...not once. I was almost home so I got off the phone and zipped the rest of the way.
I found him sitting on the floor in our bathroom...lights off...tears running down his face. It tore my heart out. He was so disoriented still, it was starting to come back to him a little (he told me later that night, he couldn't remember who he was married to, or what he did for a living). Even for all that, it still took about 40 minutes of alternately cajolling and threatening to get him off the bathroom floor. As he stood, the chest pains he was already having were joined by a shooting pain up the inside of his leg, nearly dropping him to the floor again.
I'd already called the Sgt on duty to let him know Shawn wouldn't be in to work...gotten a call from the Lt offering a ride in a patrol car and officers to strong arm Shawn...broken down on the phone with Jason after I couldn't reach Mike...and had 4 TERRIFIED kids waiting anxiously on the stairs as I tried to stay sort of calm. Finally, my STUBBORN husband decided that perhaps the ER bill would be worth it and allowed himself to be loaded into the truck.
THANK YOU TO MIKE AND JASON! Mike rode with us to the hospital and reminded me how to get there...and Jason followed us to the ER.
Once we got to the ER, things moved pretty quickly...chest pains seems to be the magic phrase. Within a matter of about 2 minutes we were in a room, Shawn had an IV, blood was drawn, an EKG was being done, and I had been gently pushed to the corner to allow everyone room to do their jobs.
Bless Mike and Jason for staying...they waited in the lobby to give Shawn the blessing they'd come over for in the first place.
Finally, the ER crew decided that things were slowing down and allowed for a few Police visitors to see the patient. It was so nice for Shawn to have the support from the "brothers", though I'm not sure he was all the way coherent still.
After a bit, Jason and Mike came back to give him a blessing and visit for a minute.
I have to say that in all the years I've been married to Shawn, I've prepared (as much as you can) for the day that an Officer shows up on my doorstep..."Mrs. Richins...I have news." I knew who I would call, what I would do if Tyler and Holden were there, what I would do if they weren't, who I would talk to...who I would refuse to talk to...etc.
When you walk into it, in your own house, though...it plays out a little differently. For one thing, I had to FORCE my dork of a husband out of the bathroom...CONVINCE him this really was an emergency...no small feat.
So, back at the hospital, the initial tests all came back normal: they tested for blood clots...nothing. Good. Chest X-ray...normal. Good. Triponine levels (enzyme found when there is damage to the heart like in a heart attack)...normal. Good. Wait. What's going on then?
When we'd first arrived, they had given him a GI (gastro-intestinal) cocktail...to make sure it wasn't heartburn. Didn't do a thing for the pain.
So I'm frustrated, Shawn is starting to say this was a waste of time, they're not going to find anything...and I start praying...for a speedy recovery? Nope. For something to be wrong...something they can find and identify and fix. No more of this...I don't know stuff.
Is it my fault then? The pain hasn't gone away...If it means we get answers...I think I can bear the weight of the guilt then.
The tests all come back, we're sitting pretty. It isn't a heart attack...well it could be still...it can take up to 6 hours for the results to show that a heart attack has happened. It's another 4 hours in the ER waiting for more tests to be done...it wasn't uneventful.
There was a patient in the curtained room next to ours who needed to give a urine sample...so she voided herself in a bucket...we heard it all...every GUSH...dribble...and tinkle...it really was VERY FUNNY!
After an exhausting night of shock, stress, multiple phone calls, texts from friends, family, and kids, soothing kids over the phone, requests for Shawn's property, etc. We were sent home...still having chest pains.
And 3 days later here we are...still having pains...waiting for more tests and to see the Dr...and hopefully getting answers.
So, I want to thank everyone:
My mom for coming to stay with the kids
Mike and Jason for staying at the hospital and the blessing
All the love, support, thoughts, and prayers
and even the jokes "At least we know he has a heart!"
And a GRATEFUL shout out to ACS for clearing my schedule, cancelling my appointments, offering shoulders to cry on, and sending good thoughts and lots of love our way!
You are all WONDERFUL and I am so very grateful for each one of you!

2 comments:

The Byron Family said...

Get him better Jess. Tears ROLLED down my cheeks reading this! So scary! Tell shawn we love him, and we love you guys too. Let me know if you need me to run kids around or take them!
becca

Anthony & Linds said...

I was so sad to hear about this! We will have you in our prayers! Please keep up posted. I hope he has a speedy recovery.

Let me know if there is anything you need.